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10th Annual Duck Races!

10th Annual Duck Races!

IT’S THE BIG ONE! Celebrate 10 years of silly splashing at the ultimate Duck Racing Event in Carding Mill Valley.

Bring the whole family including Dad and the Grandparents! 50p a duck, 10 races, prizes for not only 1st second and 3rd but also last (because its not just the winning….). AND some of the silliest commentary since Donald Duck Trump gave his last press conference.*

Races start at 11.00am, so be there at 10.30 to get the best places and see the course.  The start is right next to the National Trust Chalet, where you can wile away the moments between races spending your prize money, crunching the famous Duck biscuits (only available here, only today!) and debating the various merits of the paddlers. A splendid time is guaranteed for all…

 

*[we have the best ducks, the fastest ducks, the very very best ducks, you wouldn’t believe it our ducks are so great – people – experts- not experts, people who know more about ducks than experts, these people, they have seen these ducks and say to me that they are the best ducks, the greatest ducks. Obamas ducks, Clinton’s ducks – not good, not good at all. They took drugs, they were illegal immigrants, they were sent over from China to make trouble, and some were good – I don’t know, maybe some were, but most were bad. Very bad.  I gotta tell you folks, they were so bad even the press had to admit they were etc etc]

 

Comments

Ecowarrior says

The Duck Racing Drug Enforcement Agency are already testing some of the competitors who have set up a local training camp in Batch Valley. So far all clear!

Ecowarrior says

Are GCHQ monitoring our Duck Day emails? Have to find out about this. We don't want outside agencies trying to influence the results.

Ecowarrior says

Trouble on course. Water levels low after driest April in years (Climate Change to blame?) Some of the competitors are complaining they cannot practice on some of the more difficult bits of the tricky course as they drag their feathery bottoms on the bed of the stream. Prizes looking good.

jamie says

DONALD TRUMPED SAYS
It's gonna be beautiful folks!

Ecowarrior says

Course stewards will make final inspection on Thursday. All competitors receive a medical inspection before racing and random drug testing has begun. The duck biscuit pastry cutters have been found and there is a palpable air of excitement in the valley as the great day approaches.

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